All I'm gonna say i "wtf." The other day I was with my AT Line having dinner at Tapioca Express. I love my family and I haven't been able to have quality time with them lately. I don't know why this happened, but I saw a friend of mine. He came over said hi and sat down with us. This is why I said "WTF."
If I'm having dinner with a group of friends, do not let yourself sit down with us. If I say sit down, then you can sit down. But if I do not say sit down, do not sit with us. You can say hi and that you were around, but do not sit down with us.
It bothered me so much that a friend of mine did this, especially when I was in the middle of a conversation about something. I needed to talk to them about something important, but nooo you had to come in. GOD DAMNIT
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Its definately been a while...
Lately I've been accused of writing selfish wrongs. Its a tragedy at times because I am a writer. Sometimes I may seem blunt or harsh because I tell the truth, but I can not help it at times. Maybe I need to make writing more constructive instead of making it the 'monstrosity' it turns out to be.
The other day I went through the files of my old PC. Guess what I found? I found a book I had written when I was 13, a play I had written, and a short stories. I looked at my writing and thought " What the fuck happened to my writing? Why did it change?" It changed because I had changed. Comparing and contrasting my writing from when I was 13 to what I have written now does not even compare. It seems that in my teen years I had those creative juices flowing. Whatever I wrote on paper, seemed to create these vivid compositions. Yes, there were enjoyable to read compare to what I write now. Back then, I was a angsty teenager who would bury herself in her bedroom for hours just to write. However, high school started. Thats when I realized that there were other ways to express myself: photography.
Random: In my theatre 100 class, we have to write a play and perform it. Before I could write a play, there was a student in my group who really wanted us to perform his play - especially since he wants to become a director in the future. We granted his wish. now I wonder, "hmmm I wonder what concoction could I produce in a mere day?" I still wonder and have not met my own personal goal. Oh wellz...
In other news, I am recovering from my sickness. Being sick sucks, but then again life throws curveballs and we have to adjust to life. Spring break is coming up and I guess I'm going to be lounging in the beautiful sun and taking a road trip elsewhere. Yes, I will be taking a road trip by myself. I need to do some soul searching.
Since I am no longer to express myself through a camera lens, I decided to express myself in a whole different way. I've always been a fan of cooking. I love watching Man vs. Food or some other cooking competition on the Food Network ( I love being a foodie). I used my last blog to display what kind of recipes I want to try for people. It sucks when you want to cook, but you have no one to cook for. My mom is not even allowed to try my cooking ever since the doctor prescribed her a diet. I'll find someone to cook for, maybe the fraternity?
Whats on the Menu for this week:
Garlic Bread
Apple Cheddar Squash Soup
Apple Waldorf Salad
Classic Lasagna (Chef Giada's Recipe)
Dessert: Lime Blueverry Tiramisu
The other day I went through the files of my old PC. Guess what I found? I found a book I had written when I was 13, a play I had written, and a short stories. I looked at my writing and thought " What the fuck happened to my writing? Why did it change?" It changed because I had changed. Comparing and contrasting my writing from when I was 13 to what I have written now does not even compare. It seems that in my teen years I had those creative juices flowing. Whatever I wrote on paper, seemed to create these vivid compositions. Yes, there were enjoyable to read compare to what I write now. Back then, I was a angsty teenager who would bury herself in her bedroom for hours just to write. However, high school started. Thats when I realized that there were other ways to express myself: photography.
Random: In my theatre 100 class, we have to write a play and perform it. Before I could write a play, there was a student in my group who really wanted us to perform his play - especially since he wants to become a director in the future. We granted his wish. now I wonder, "hmmm I wonder what concoction could I produce in a mere day?" I still wonder and have not met my own personal goal. Oh wellz...
In other news, I am recovering from my sickness. Being sick sucks, but then again life throws curveballs and we have to adjust to life. Spring break is coming up and I guess I'm going to be lounging in the beautiful sun and taking a road trip elsewhere. Yes, I will be taking a road trip by myself. I need to do some soul searching.
Since I am no longer to express myself through a camera lens, I decided to express myself in a whole different way. I've always been a fan of cooking. I love watching Man vs. Food or some other cooking competition on the Food Network ( I love being a foodie). I used my last blog to display what kind of recipes I want to try for people. It sucks when you want to cook, but you have no one to cook for. My mom is not even allowed to try my cooking ever since the doctor prescribed her a diet. I'll find someone to cook for, maybe the fraternity?
Whats on the Menu for this week:
Garlic Bread
Apple Cheddar Squash Soup
Apple Waldorf Salad
Classic Lasagna (Chef Giada's Recipe)
Dessert: Lime Blueverry Tiramisu
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Someone I don't recognize
I look at myself in the mirror and I realize that I am slowly changing. With every new experience, something within me changes. I adapt. I change. I become a chameleon.
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Common Trick Guys Use
This morning around 2 30am i received a phone call from a guy i dated from the summer. I refer to him as the teacher in one of my blogs. The teacher and I went on three dates but according to him we dated for "4 weeks" or "2 months." I honestly thought of it as 3 dates, nothing more and nothing less.
He told me he felt like a douschebag and a dick because he left me hanging. What happened was this: the teacher and I went on a date. I really cared about him, but then he started ignoring my phone calls and stopped talking to me. I was very sad about that. I didn't understand why he was ignoring me. Eventually, I deleted his number and moved on.
he contacted me telling me he was sorry and that he had been thinking about what he did the past few months. He said he wanted to kiss me and have sex with me, but because I am innocent and kind unlike most girls, he decided to leave me alone out of respect. He said he was sorry for not telling me and he didn't want me to feel "jaded." He said he wanted me to learn a positive experience from him and does want me to be more experienced in the future. he said I was "marriage material" but for someone else.
He asked if we could still be friends and he'd look out for me. I thought it was very thoughtful, but then the conversation got weird. He was asking about my virginity and if I had an orgasm yet. Of course I am still a virgin but I have yet to experience my first orgasm. The teacher claims that reason why I have not had one yet was because " you're not mentally there." The teacher said he could help me over the phone. Thats when I realized he had a hidden agenda. He wasn't genuinely trying to apologize, but to get into my pants. What an asshole. I told him I was feeling tired. He wanted me to stay up with him because he didn't want to be alone. I told him " if you were really my friend, you'd let me sleep and we'll talk another time." Guess what? He pulled the " I have needs" card on me. I told him " I don't have needs. I'm going to bed. Gnite."
He told me he felt like a douschebag and a dick because he left me hanging. What happened was this: the teacher and I went on a date. I really cared about him, but then he started ignoring my phone calls and stopped talking to me. I was very sad about that. I didn't understand why he was ignoring me. Eventually, I deleted his number and moved on.
he contacted me telling me he was sorry and that he had been thinking about what he did the past few months. He said he wanted to kiss me and have sex with me, but because I am innocent and kind unlike most girls, he decided to leave me alone out of respect. He said he was sorry for not telling me and he didn't want me to feel "jaded." He said he wanted me to learn a positive experience from him and does want me to be more experienced in the future. he said I was "marriage material" but for someone else.
He asked if we could still be friends and he'd look out for me. I thought it was very thoughtful, but then the conversation got weird. He was asking about my virginity and if I had an orgasm yet. Of course I am still a virgin but I have yet to experience my first orgasm. The teacher claims that reason why I have not had one yet was because " you're not mentally there." The teacher said he could help me over the phone. Thats when I realized he had a hidden agenda. He wasn't genuinely trying to apologize, but to get into my pants. What an asshole. I told him I was feeling tired. He wanted me to stay up with him because he didn't want to be alone. I told him " if you were really my friend, you'd let me sleep and we'll talk another time." Guess what? He pulled the " I have needs" card on me. I told him " I don't have needs. I'm going to bed. Gnite."
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Resolutions
1) be happy and live life to the fullest
2) hang out with my family as much as possible
3) hit the gym 2x a week
4) stop eating out so much
5) School > everything else
2) hang out with my family as much as possible
3) hit the gym 2x a week
4) stop eating out so much
5) School > everything else
Monday, December 21, 2009
One Weekend I will Never Forget
I decided to attend the 2009 Regional Conference in Davis, CA. I wanted the experience so I can help improve Alpha Phi Omega.
Regionals was amazing. I feel that Regionals is an experience that all Alpha Phi Omega members should experience. I think every member of Alpha Delta would be able to receive the benefits to become better Brothers and to help our chapter improve. I met a lot of people from Iota Phi (Uc Davis), Rho Rho, Rho Pi, Omega Sigma, and Chi Chapter. I felt like I never really had an IC experience that made me want to go out and actually meet more ICS, but regionals helps me establish those bonds with other brothers.
For Example, I plan on visiting Rho Rho next month. Kent Lee has been telling me to visit them since their chapter is “organized” and “Structured.” At first I was intimidated, but since I made a few friends at Regionals, I definitely want to go. In addition, I will be assisting Cindy Chang with APO Idol for Chi Chapter.
I arrived a day early. I do not think UC Davis remembered I was arriving a day early and needed a place to stay because it took them 20 minutes to get back to me about housing situations. Thankfully I was picked up by my housing brothers. Nick and I stayed with two Iota Phi pledges, Kameron and Kenneth. Both needed their IC interviews to be done so the arrangement was perfect. We had another housemate, Branden, from Nu Omega (Alaska). They were very nice to us and invited us to parties. We were lucky to have Kameron and Kenneth house us because they always checked up on us and made sure we were comfortable. They also invited us to parties and drove us to them.
I attended the Service VP Roundtables to get some more ideas. I was able to understand that I have to know all the questions that will be asked and have an answer for each question. Additionally, I was able to form a bond with the Service VP from Iota Phi. ^_^. I felt that she was strong and she moderated the roundtable with good questions. Her name is Kat and she is one of the co-service vps. She has a beautiful personality. I also met Jen Phan from Rho Pi. Nick introduced her to me and I got to know her a little bit at the Service VP roundtables. I feel so miniscule in her presence because she has accomplished so much as Rho Pi’s Service VP. She informed me that she would help me since I was recently elected. She really likes to hang out with the ICs.
Sarah and I attended as Regional delegates for Alpha Delta. Unfortunately, because we do not have an advisor, we were not able to vote. However, there was nothing technically to vote on that I thought was important. What was important to the regional and section staff was the Regional Policy Guide. There were a few good points so it was motioned and passed by the delegates. Section I and II want to collaborate and try to get the Nationals Bid for Nationals to be held on the westcoast for Nationals 2010. Here are the few places that were pitched: Anaheim, Oakland, & San Francisco. Nothing is definite but Franklin Brodsky encourages competition (numerous bids) so that at least Region X can host the National Conference. Kent Lee has formed a committee for the national bid, but nothing is in stone yet.
As for Fellowships, Rho Rho sent a representative last minute for the Mr and Ms Aphio Pageant and won. Rho Pi ended up winning the balloon/dodgeball fellowship. Sadly, Alpha Delta did not win anything. I feel that Alpha Delta needs to establish chapter pride sometime soon.
BTW, I think Kent Lee has a new ic game in the works. I think it’s gonna be called Chapter Invasion. It is going to be somewhat similar to assassins. He’s not done with the initial idea, but I hope it is soon.
Of course, with every conference, there were a few negatives: 1) lack of communication 2) not enough fellowships that brought together the Brothers 3) Housing for someone (some of the Brothers complained that the housing brothers were very mean and treated them like they were not there) 4) lack of information involving where section, regional, and delegate meetings were going to be held.
Partywise.
Friday night was an okay party, but the problem was there was too many people in one apartment. It was squished. Saturday night the party got rolled by security ( i was there for about 30 min). On Sunday....that was fun. After banquet, there was an after party at avalon. That party got rolled so quickly. Then i hung out with Chi and omega sigma for their kickbacks. Later on, I met up with Will from Rho Rho. He was pretty tipsy and we talked that night. We ended up hugging each other most of the night. we were standing on the porch and he was holding me since it was cold. He kissed my forehead and brought my closer to him. He then started to ask me where I was ticklish. I told him my sides. He tickled me there and asked if i was ticklish behind my ear. I told him " I am not sure." He kissed behind my ear and then started kissing my neck and then my jaw. I told him to stop since he was drunk. He was sweet. I almost fell asleep with him but then I stopped becuzz I still needed to pack my clothes. Will didn't know what happened this morning when he woke up. I gave him a summary of what he told me, but that was it. he held me and hugged me and said that we will see each other again, but I do not think that will happen anytime soon. I miss Will, but I will miss my time in Davis.
I miss most of the IC brothers that i have met. One is a big and lil - who compliment each other pretty well. Their bond reminds me of my lil mark, who I miss a lot. I hope they are able to strength their bond and stay lil and big for the years to come. Another is a pledge who reminds me of myself. We all make mistakes. Another is an active who seems to be happy go lucky. I wish I had some of his outgoing personality.
Regionals was amazing. I feel that Regionals is an experience that all Alpha Phi Omega members should experience. I think every member of Alpha Delta would be able to receive the benefits to become better Brothers and to help our chapter improve. I met a lot of people from Iota Phi (Uc Davis), Rho Rho, Rho Pi, Omega Sigma, and Chi Chapter. I felt like I never really had an IC experience that made me want to go out and actually meet more ICS, but regionals helps me establish those bonds with other brothers.
For Example, I plan on visiting Rho Rho next month. Kent Lee has been telling me to visit them since their chapter is “organized” and “Structured.” At first I was intimidated, but since I made a few friends at Regionals, I definitely want to go. In addition, I will be assisting Cindy Chang with APO Idol for Chi Chapter.
I arrived a day early. I do not think UC Davis remembered I was arriving a day early and needed a place to stay because it took them 20 minutes to get back to me about housing situations. Thankfully I was picked up by my housing brothers. Nick and I stayed with two Iota Phi pledges, Kameron and Kenneth. Both needed their IC interviews to be done so the arrangement was perfect. We had another housemate, Branden, from Nu Omega (Alaska). They were very nice to us and invited us to parties. We were lucky to have Kameron and Kenneth house us because they always checked up on us and made sure we were comfortable. They also invited us to parties and drove us to them.
I attended the Service VP Roundtables to get some more ideas. I was able to understand that I have to know all the questions that will be asked and have an answer for each question. Additionally, I was able to form a bond with the Service VP from Iota Phi. ^_^. I felt that she was strong and she moderated the roundtable with good questions. Her name is Kat and she is one of the co-service vps. She has a beautiful personality. I also met Jen Phan from Rho Pi. Nick introduced her to me and I got to know her a little bit at the Service VP roundtables. I feel so miniscule in her presence because she has accomplished so much as Rho Pi’s Service VP. She informed me that she would help me since I was recently elected. She really likes to hang out with the ICs.
Sarah and I attended as Regional delegates for Alpha Delta. Unfortunately, because we do not have an advisor, we were not able to vote. However, there was nothing technically to vote on that I thought was important. What was important to the regional and section staff was the Regional Policy Guide. There were a few good points so it was motioned and passed by the delegates. Section I and II want to collaborate and try to get the Nationals Bid for Nationals to be held on the westcoast for Nationals 2010. Here are the few places that were pitched: Anaheim, Oakland, & San Francisco. Nothing is definite but Franklin Brodsky encourages competition (numerous bids) so that at least Region X can host the National Conference. Kent Lee has formed a committee for the national bid, but nothing is in stone yet.
As for Fellowships, Rho Rho sent a representative last minute for the Mr and Ms Aphio Pageant and won. Rho Pi ended up winning the balloon/dodgeball fellowship. Sadly, Alpha Delta did not win anything. I feel that Alpha Delta needs to establish chapter pride sometime soon.
BTW, I think Kent Lee has a new ic game in the works. I think it’s gonna be called Chapter Invasion. It is going to be somewhat similar to assassins. He’s not done with the initial idea, but I hope it is soon.
Of course, with every conference, there were a few negatives: 1) lack of communication 2) not enough fellowships that brought together the Brothers 3) Housing for someone (some of the Brothers complained that the housing brothers were very mean and treated them like they were not there) 4) lack of information involving where section, regional, and delegate meetings were going to be held.
Partywise.
Friday night was an okay party, but the problem was there was too many people in one apartment. It was squished. Saturday night the party got rolled by security ( i was there for about 30 min). On Sunday....that was fun. After banquet, there was an after party at avalon. That party got rolled so quickly. Then i hung out with Chi and omega sigma for their kickbacks. Later on, I met up with Will from Rho Rho. He was pretty tipsy and we talked that night. We ended up hugging each other most of the night. we were standing on the porch and he was holding me since it was cold. He kissed my forehead and brought my closer to him. He then started to ask me where I was ticklish. I told him my sides. He tickled me there and asked if i was ticklish behind my ear. I told him " I am not sure." He kissed behind my ear and then started kissing my neck and then my jaw. I told him to stop since he was drunk. He was sweet. I almost fell asleep with him but then I stopped becuzz I still needed to pack my clothes. Will didn't know what happened this morning when he woke up. I gave him a summary of what he told me, but that was it. he held me and hugged me and said that we will see each other again, but I do not think that will happen anytime soon. I miss Will, but I will miss my time in Davis.
I miss most of the IC brothers that i have met. One is a big and lil - who compliment each other pretty well. Their bond reminds me of my lil mark, who I miss a lot. I hope they are able to strength their bond and stay lil and big for the years to come. Another is a pledge who reminds me of myself. We all make mistakes. Another is an active who seems to be happy go lucky. I wish I had some of his outgoing personality.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
One bad day
Yesterday was a really bad day. It started with not bringing my cell phone to school. Then, one of my pledge brothers telling me that one of the guys I am interested in my fraternity is actually interested in my friends. It made me sad because if I was a guy, I'd like her too. My friend Lindsey is a beautiful blue eyed brunette with the personality of the girl next door. I could see why he is interested in her because she has the qualities of someone you'd want to be with.
Later in the day, I was trying to get my sister to come with me to my meeting. She said she would come and I was happy because it seemed like she was interested in what I do. But when I came to come get her, she didn't budge. She just sat there doing her homework. I even told her I was going to my meeting and she just sat there. It made me frustrated because at first she said she was going to go and then she didn't even tell me she wasn't going. I felt like she didn't even have the guts to tell me what was going on.
At the meeting, I used my lil bro's cell phone to call my mom. My mom called to tell me it was raining and windy and to get home safely. In addition, she had just gotten laid off. She has two more months with her company. Thankfully, my mother is a great planner. She already start revising her resume and plans on selling her house in Texas. I'm still worried though because my mom has a lot of benefits with the company she is with now. I wonder if she will get the job with Auntie Cora's Company.
Alas, last night I was comforted by my friend Paulo in APO. My lil bro is always checking up on me. Carly brought a smile to my face when she told me about a guy. And Anthony knows how to make me realize something things are just trivial.
Later in the day, I was trying to get my sister to come with me to my meeting. She said she would come and I was happy because it seemed like she was interested in what I do. But when I came to come get her, she didn't budge. She just sat there doing her homework. I even told her I was going to my meeting and she just sat there. It made me frustrated because at first she said she was going to go and then she didn't even tell me she wasn't going. I felt like she didn't even have the guts to tell me what was going on.
At the meeting, I used my lil bro's cell phone to call my mom. My mom called to tell me it was raining and windy and to get home safely. In addition, she had just gotten laid off. She has two more months with her company. Thankfully, my mother is a great planner. She already start revising her resume and plans on selling her house in Texas. I'm still worried though because my mom has a lot of benefits with the company she is with now. I wonder if she will get the job with Auntie Cora's Company.
Alas, last night I was comforted by my friend Paulo in APO. My lil bro is always checking up on me. Carly brought a smile to my face when she told me about a guy. And Anthony knows how to make me realize something things are just trivial.
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