I have a boyfriend and his name is Fontanilla. He's a very adorable and handsome guy from Murrietta. He has a voice that I like listening to and he's very down-to-earth yet random at times. Sometimes we talk until 3 or 4 in the morning (i got in trouble on sunday for talking to wally until 130 am). He listens attentively and is very studious about school. Sounds perfect right? We're not really together...its a fake relationship.
It all started because a guy from my group started to bother me. He would hit on me and check me out (which I would catch him do many times). I had already talked to him twice about how I do not like him, but still it continues. The guys in the group have talked to him, but still he likes me. In addition, whenever i am talking to someone, he randomly tries to wedge his way into our conversation. He also comments on most of my statuses.
Wally and I were talking about it one night and he suggested that he and I be on a fake relationship. he likes pulling pranks on his friends. we constructed our stories of how we met and how we went on a couple of dates with one another. His and my friends fell for it.
Today I went to CSUSM to go visit wally. we were supposed to go take photos, but we ended up studying in the library. I gave him some pancit with ribs, cough drops, vitamin c packets, and a condom (jk). He enjoyed it...i think. I read his post previously in the day and i decided to bring him something to eat since he might have been stressed. We took the photo above. I also punched in the arm becuz he was being a tease.
Later, i got home and my friends were congratulating me on the relationship between me and Wally. It was funnie that they were congratulating me. However, I felt sad. I really do miss being in a relationship. I miss someone protecting me and holding me when I'm sad or scared. I want to fill that emotional void, but I'm going to be strong and not let it get to me. I talked to Jen and she told me that she felt that I was trying to get rid of the feelings. She was right, I do want to get rid of the inadequate feelings I have been having because i don't want to get hurt. She thinks I have commitment issues. I admit I do. Its hard for me to trust a guy after the asshole. I don't want to invest anything into a guy unless i know for a fact he really is into me and not talking to some girl on the side.
Jen (11:44:51 PM): you said something about want to or how you need to get rid of a feeling and i said something about how it'll come back cuz there's something more it for whatever reason...
me(11:45:01 PM): oh
me(11:45:07 PM): cuz i want to be with a certain person
jen (11:45:23 PM): sure if you believe that's true
jen(11:46:14 PM): and there's something stopping you so instead of confronting it you want to get rid of it
Carly thinks Wally and I should really go out, but I told her there are complicated factors. She suggested I go out with Ducky, but I can't go out with him without pissing off my sister.
so thursday we are breaking up.
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